cold. quiet. dark. and pitch black.
a heart made from coal shatters into pieces. never to be repaired again.
will the light ever shine my way?

cold. quiet. dark. and pitch black.
raspy voices scream out in agony. terrifed of what they have done.
will they ever see the light?

cold. quiet.dark.and pitch black.
tears have run out, and anger fills da places that used to over flow with love.
will she ever see the light?

Someday.

and many days go by..when i dont know what it is im trying to be.
sometimes..i dont know who it is i am. or what is im seeking.
and i almost never know what direction im spose to be walking in my future...
or where the wind will take me next.
but not a day goes by, when i dont know what i want to be now.

i want to be that girl, who everybody knows.
and i want to be the one with the emotions that never show.
the one whose poetry touches hearts, and moves lives.
the woman's whose spoken words, never die.
that child who is the apple of parents eye, the favorite child.
the man who walks with his head held high, the greatest pride.
the bride that is worth driving cross country.
the divorced husband that cries in the night, but smiles in the morning.
the grandmother who shares wisdom with the sweetest presentation, no lectures.
that bird with the most beautiful feathers..
that child who makes her parents proud of not what she has done, but the young woman she has become.
the sister whose siblings will always wana be with
the heartbroken boy who hurts but yu kant see it
the puppy who is out of control, untameble
the antique who last forever, untangible.

i want to be great..and my potential overflows
my inspiration has no exipration date....and i will achieve my goals.....


so today i will rest my head...and dream about tommrow in my sleep.
regardless of what troubles are awaiting for me, i know one day all of this i will be.
and that day, nothing kan stop me.
and this world kant hold me:)

No New Messages. (POEM by ME )

and i kant make yu text me back....

i kant make yu hear my footsteps pacing abck and forth arcoss the floors of this lonely room.
i kant make yu see the worried look upon this distraught face
or tast the salty yet familar tears upon my red flourished cheeks
i cant make yu love me.

you wont ever be able to heal the dissappointmets from the past.
yu will never know how it felt to beo n the top of the world
and the next minute feeling like a broken little girl
yu kant understand, why i get so emotionally attached
and unto unworthy niggas i become dependentally latched..
so of course yu dont comprehend the hurt produced by that no text back...

where yu there? yu know, that night when i couldnt sleep
kept getting all entangled in those tear soaked sheets

try sleeping in a bed full of sorrow...tossing and kicking
try holding onto feelings with no one to listen

see yu dont know the stories
and you dont get the past
you wasnt there when heartbreak and regret....was kicking my ass. (lol)

the issues i deal with every single day
are the same demons i gotta fight every single day

and the same problems i gotta try to fix and face
are da same dilemas causing me to be in this mind state....

but you couldnt understand it
yu think this is a game, a joke.
you think im playing....but its anything but that.

yu just couldnnt get it....and you wont ever get it.
so i'll sit here....and wait for that text bak.

Way 2 Go, BP Gas Station.

sooo....heard that today makes it official. this is the biggest oil spill we have ever had in the history of the united states. soooo nice going BP. i know its alot of ppl who dont understand whats going on. so this is my perspective on it :

BP was trying to do sum kinda buisness scam or sumthing that they aint have no buisness doing. it wasnt no reason for them to be carrying that much oil on such jacked up equipment anyways...but they didd. blah blah blah....somehow the oil ended up spilling. ok, got that part? we know the oil spilled. but this is what pisses me off.

they go try all these stupid tactics to clean dis oil up. they using tactics that will let them soak the oil back up so they dont waste money...instead of worrying bout the enviroment animals and all that. boy i tell you....we got some effed up people in the world. so selfish...we got animals going extinct even quicker now cuz they breathing in this oil. THEN, they put sum type of dissolvers in the water to break up the oil in smaller pieces....WHAT KINDA SENSE THAT MAKE. so yu go break up the oil into smaller pieces....ITS STILL THERE. ITS STILL IN THE WATER, FOOL. so no these tablets are poisioning the water even more. so now the animals are either choking on oil, or drowing in the poison. WTF? jesus. we need you.

WORDPLAY:) PART ONE.

ok so. what wordplay is when i take a word, that is slang, and jsut blankly and utterly define it. lol. ok so the word for today is (*drum roll pleaseeeeeee*):


Skeem. And this word is very complex and confusing, espically for me. like the first time i heard it, i was like what? excuse me? we're doing what tonight? lol. but look:

The Webster Dictionary definition(in my own words) is: "to plan out or to devise a plan." and they spell it diffrently. they spell it "scheme".

BUT i asked around, and some people say this word kan be used in place of many things. for example:
" AY, we skeeming tonight " and really all that means is " AY, im gonna go get sum pizza, wana join?".

other people use it like " AY, man he going with two girls at once? Man he a SKEEMiNG." and that means " AY, he cheating on them" baiscally.

as you can see. the word has diffrent forms.
there's Skeem, Skeemer, Skids, Skeeming...and more im sure i aint heard yet. this word is a trip bruh. lol.

iSUPPORt.

here's some things i support nowadays...

1.) GOiNG GREEN.go green man. i swea when i get older, im just go have the house with all the weird shaped lightbulbs and the stuff on the roof to help satellite or whatever.....im just go have the Green House. lol.

2.) DO NOT SEXT.

just dont do it. point blank. BUT if you do, dont get mad when yu get caught.

3.) A B S T I E N E N C E.
most effective way not to get pregnant, a STD, or a stretched out cat? lol. NO SEX TIL MAARIAGE.
4.) DRUG FREE.

for those of you who smoke, pop pills, sniff crayola...idk. whatever it is you do...im not judging you. im just warning you...it may not be affecting you now. but it will later. everybody be like "weed dont hurt you" blah blah bull. its affecting somhow and someway...so enjoy your suicide:)

5.) NO DRINKING.

yea no drinking...i dont how faithful ima be able to stay to this one but ima try..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So ima pretty "goooooood girl" i guess. i mean i just try to be as good as i kan..never know when jesus is coming back.
everybody says live life to the fullest. i dont do that.

i live life to the fullest for jesus:)

o lets do it. lol.

SEXTING? hmmm, i think not.

so ummm. da other day dis dude had the audacity to ask me to send him a pic. so i sent it to him. just a pic of my face yu know me, looking cute. fully clothed, and appropriate for the situation. buddy go get mad at me, cuz it aint da type of pic he want. so im like well what kinda of pic yu want black and white, sepia, negative, what type of pic yu tawkn bout. then thats when it happend. jesus........ol buddy wants a picture without any clothes...nothing. buddy wants to SEXT.

ok so. sexting is basically sending racy pics to somebody else...and now i hear you kan go to jail for it. now. im not knocking it. but i dont support it either. i feel like, if somebody wana send a pic to sombody else, ultimately. they go have to live with it themselves. sending me off to jail for showing da goods is kinda stupid, i think. but at the same time, i feel like if yu kant show the picture yu sending to yo bf/gf to your mom, then yu shuldnt be sending it. if you feeling guilty about sending it....if something telling you not to send it....if anything aint sitting right with you about it....even if yu THNK your in love....dont send that junk. cuz the way tha po-po cracking on teens round here.....hell. it aint worth going to jail over a flash of them bitties loll. real tawk, true story.

OMGSH; dreamTATTOOs.

OK. so iwant some mario bros tattoos. but not of them. really small, not too small though, but not too big either....like smedimall. (small big and medium together) lol...i want a star. a mushroo. boo(the shy ghost). and if i have space maybe a token, or the plant, maybe the lil brown pitbull looking things. idk...but i think these tattoos are bomb. i want their really cool. kant wait to get mines. its gonna be on my hand! DO NOT TRY TO TAWK ME OUT OF IT....IM GETTING IT MOM. lol. dang everybody keep telling me to get it on my shoulder or some, NOO. ITS GOING ON MY HAND, AND THATS IT. mkay? mkay:) cool.

the main reason i want boo, is because he is shy. and thats something i have always been. i express my shy in a diffrent type of way from other ppl though. like i will be shy or nervous around a guy, so i will skrew up by cursing alot or being loud or something...idk. im shy around y fam. shy around my friends sumtimes. shy around my bf. im just shy and thats always gonna be me. rregardless of what others say, i know me better then anyone else. and i know i am shy. another thing is boo doesnt like ppl looking at his face....i dont either. yea so thats why i want boo plus hes cute!

but mine is gonna look sum like this:)

my mom says nobody is gonna hire me with a tat like this. my response is this, " well if they not go hire me cuz i got a small ghost on my hand, then i dont wana work for a bunch baffoons like that. bunch of sissies scared of a ghost w/ his tounge out....PSH! PLEASE PLAYA!" . lol. ima fool.

R E L A TI ON SHI TS.

wow. i love the title of my blog. it rocks. lol. but look.

i gotta dude, a boyfriend if yu may. and i hope he dont read this, cuz he be getting mad when i put our stuff out there but hey...im just speaking the truth. sorry babe:(

neways...

we been going out for almost a year. today makes it 11 months. about 2 months, out of those 11 months we were "separated"/ broken up. now we're back together again but it feels diffrent. it feels weird. like its not the same as it used to be. and i dont understand whats going wrong.

( hope it gets better.....)

i wont go into detail but i will check out these tips i found:

5 things you might be doing to sabotage your relationship:

1.) your frequently dissappointed with your partners gifts or gestures.

2.) you focus on his faults.

3.) your too avaible or have drastically changed your schedule for him. *

4.) you've stopped glamoring up for dates.

5.) you discuss your relationship too much. *

* thats me ....lol

Fav. DISNEY Movies:))

man to be honest. this da main reason i wrote this blog. im looking at it as we speak. it has the best storyline out of all the disney movies. it was great. but then they started making all the other lion kings, which sucked. i hated the others. but they original was the best. the monkey was hilarious. oh wow. he waas so kool man. wit his naked self...lol.

omg omg omg. hercules was so cute. he was a hottie:) lol. im so lame. but ay, all the characters were gorgeous. like his mom shes in the ttop right hand corner and she is all pink. but she was so pretty and ZEUS omg, zeus kan get it fosho:) lol. haiti's was hilarious. he was funny to me. this is my favorite one of all time. no doubt.

omggggsh. she was so pretty. like the movie was so real to me like. it showed out relationships get rocky but if its ture love, it will work out. coming from two opposite worlds...love grows by the persons heart. not culture, not background lifestyles..but their hearts. * shakes head, blows away tears* oh gosh....wow.

omg. Tears. The Beauty and the Beast was the joint. the beast was so finee to me. but i was so scared of him. i used to run out the romm when he screamed, instead of just turning the tv off. lol. kids are idiots.omg, i neva got this one on vhs. but when i used to catch it on tv it was so good. matta fact doe, i only seen it once all the way thru. i always catch it at the end. i need to go rent this thing immediat-effn-ly....

CUDi SPAZZiNNNN'

Kid Cudi. Cudi Of Kid. The Man On The Moon. Mr.Ragerrr. Scotty. Charles. Look, Regardless of what ya know him by. the man is a genius. he is a great artist. scarcth that, he is THE RAP ARTIST. Look at this dude. I Mean. he is a normal, human being. he raps about his insecurties, about his past. about his now, about his then. his family, how he feels. how people want him to lower his standards of rapping to bad mouth females, and go "back to the trap house" to smoke some "green" and smack that hoe when she drop it low and blah blah blam. ya know. its not gonna happen. if your not cudi; yur so ugly. lol. i suck at rapping. but HE DOESENT:))))

iHATESPRING.

OMG. I HATE SPRING TIME. I HATE SUMMER TIME. I HATE WHEN ITS HOT OUTSIDDE. LEME TELL YU WHY.

ok. first of all, da hottness itself pisses me off. its so dxm i hot i just be looking around at all da blow fans and people fanning themselves and sweaty shirts...i just be like D*MN. it sucks. i hate it so much.

second off, ,my allerigies come back. and my eyes get all swollen and red. i wear eyeshawdow, eyeliner, somtimes mascara. by the end of the day, i done rubbed off all of dat. and in the process of rubbing, now i rubbed it into my eye. so now i got a eye infection. thanks springtime:/ your the best.

third off, it gives people a reason to look like whores.

" yea, its kinda hot outside so leme just throw on a bra and sum draws, i will be ok...." wtf? no. put sum clothes on women.

and lastly, when one ounce of light comes out. this awakens all of the biggest of biggest wasps, and bees, bugs. and OBVIOUSLY i wasnt informed that my house was the party party place for these bugs. like these thangs just be swarming around like one flower..(how smart is that)...and they be fighting each other. once, one got in my house and bouta had a heart attack. i almost DIED. i aint neva ran so fast in my life. ughhh. i wish it could stay cold and wet and rainy forever. i love the winter. i hate the SPRING. ugh...

We Gotta Do Betta.

ever watched one of these shows? now im no racist. but it really bugs me how black people show themselves on these shows. and yes i am african american too. but its so stupid and sadd how we ack. to the point where its just ridiculous, and pitiful. maury show always got sum black chick up there, crying her eyes out, cuz she slept with 15 men and dont know who da daddy is. EVERY EPISODE its the same thing. maury used to have lil talent shows and "is that a man?" contests and phobia contestants on his show but NOW. its strait up paternity and lie detector tests. and i will admit it, it is very amusing. it is. but its funny because we cant believe how ignorant and foolish people can be. black people. we gotta do beta. my opioion. same thing with jerry. but the only difference is jerry just let people get up there and fight. he be having some of the weirdest people on his shows. and now his bodyguard, STEVE, got his own show. which is actually not that bad. its much beta then jerrys was to me. eitha way...to both races. matta fact all races...we all need to do beta. dont get on national television ackn a fool. have a lil more class, will ya?

loud babymama: I BELIEVE, THAT RAYRAY BERNARD, IS THE FATHER OF MY 3 BABYS. ME AND RAYRAY BEEN GOING OUT SINCE FOREVA, AND NOW HE TRYING TO PLAY DUMB. HIS D*CK WAS SMALL NEWAYS. ION'CARE. ION'CARE. I AINT NO HOE. ION'CARE. AND WHEN I PROVE TO YOU TODAY THAT YOU ARE THE FATHER, YOU NEEDS TA STEPS UP AND BE A MANNN. MMMKAYY?

confuesd baby daddy: man. that aint my kid real tawk. i heard she smashed AWWWLL da homies on da block! she da hoe of da city ! she always kallwn my fone ! she wont leave me lone man SHE WONT LEAVE ME LONE. she just want me for my money today when i show yu i aint yo babys daddy. STAY OUT MY LIFE FOREVA.

And ( Gaspp ); i love kanye west.

"excuse me? is you saying sum? uh-uh; you cant tell me nothing." and i love kanye west; im on my way to being one of his biggest fans. lemme tell you why. rappers such as soulja boy;guccimane;wacka flocka;and travis porter do what i like to call " rapp in circles". its like a cycle. girls, club,money,drugs,get drunk, smack sombody, look at my car. girls club, money, drugs, get drunk, smack sombody, look at my car. it gets boring. its about as wack as plies talking bout sex in every record except " plenty money". ughh. i hate bad music. but back to kanye. this man is the michael jackson of rap. like he is a genius. if you listen to what he says..you will see what im saying. he had a record bout his mom and her passing (my condolences); he had a record bout how he used to be poor now he;s living the good life. taking it back a lil more he tawked bout how everybody his self-conscious with they ishh. got a record about how he love his girl but still hate her at da same time; "bittersweet". take it back one mo step to "addiction", and "spaceships". i can go all day. i love kanye. regardless of his actions.

SPEAKING OF HIS ACTIONS....

this whole taylor swift thing. people tawkn bout they not go buy his records no more because of that? well then i guess you werent a true fan in da first place. and who wants fake fans? give him a break. the man is already outspoken. now mix that with some alcholol and what looks like a oppurtunity for him to voice his opinon. they ya go. yea he shuldnt have done it. but last time i checked his name ant jesus christ, so he aint perfect. he sayed sorry. so stfu. if you really liked him for his music, then that wouldnt affect your opion about his MUSIC. quit acking like yall aint neva had a drunk uncle at the family reunion..... haha.

-- Everybody and They Mama Got Swagg !

ok. now as you already know. i stay in columbus. aiite. down here, everybody know everybody. and even if you dont PERSONALLY know them, you done seen them before at da Piggly Wiggley or Wal-Marts. Okay? so we're a pretty small town, but big enough. so when a new style or way of writing or technique or type of music, whatever it may be, is introduced to columbus folk, it spreads like a plague or sum. its contaigious. you talkn bout the most un-original city in america? everybody supposedly got "swagg". everybody is a "bad bit", and or everybody is a "hood n*gga" . tell me why on everybody myspace page, they say sum bout being unique, or not giving a eff about haters or sum that youve heard a million times. and now its getting to the point where we not even writing about ourselves any more. now we just throwing ANYTHING on up there. now i know im country. and yes, sometimes i do curse a little bit. but this right here, is just ridicuolus. prime example of why i gotta get up outta columbus georgia. these people are just outta control. ughhh..

and another thing.

why are people so desperate for social lives. espically the guys. i swea, if i get one more message tawkn bout " hey shawty " or "whats up cutie" or anything like that..im going to delete my page all togetha. lol. nahhh maybe not that, but im serious its sooo annoying. its like we're allowing internet and text messaging to fill the spaces where we should be onteracting as human beings. we're taking these electronics and using them as a shield of embarrasment or awkwardness. of course everybody gets nervous around certain people and it just seems easier to send dem an email or photo comment instead of telling them u like them in person, but i mean dang. i know of girls who go out with guys, like boyfriend&girlfriend, off of the internet. never seen each other before, never knew he exsisted until he sent u a friend request, but now your in love with him? please.

-- And Junk Food ! Im Addicted .

i have a sweet tooth out of this world. you talkn bout a fat kidd in da candy store? omggg. da doritoes spicy sweet chili? my best friend. beef jerky? jerks my tastebudds. hershey's pie? i wil die. dill pickle chips? sink my ship. starburst? quench my thirst. cheese fries? i will die. AGAIN. doughnuts? i go cocunuts . lemonheads? betta then bread. sourpunch straws? the mke me go aww. cookies? they my bookies. gummy worms? oh lord. lol. i suck at rapping. but i really love these things. dont act like u dont like them too ! when u haveing a bad day and sombody got the audacity to sit down a plate of cookies in front of yo face? u just gon let it sit therre? i think NOT! haha. im not ashamed for my love sweets. they aint just sitting there for decoration, shoot ! i loveeeee you guys ! haha.

-- And High Is School Is A Killer.

ok you know im a 10th graderr. i live in columbus georgia. sixteen. blahhblaahh..
well everyone knows high school is hard. but i neva thought it would be so stressful. i know it is "da best four years of your life", and " you will neva get those young days back", and oh lets not forget " i wish i coulda did dis back when i was in high school, but now i REGRET IT " ok. i get that. i understand. high school is important. yea sure whatever. i care about my grades, but not enough. i listen to my peers, and sometimes try to be like them. ya know, being in the " IN" crowd, is really important to alot more people then you think. at my school, everybody thinks their cool. you can spot the same personality like 25 times in one class. i hate 75% of my class. and i see these fools everyday,and im like, "why am i not like them?" . being around my peers and lisetning to their ignorance everyday just clerfrifys that their has to be more to life then columbus. it has to some better people out there. it just has to be...

-- And My first Blog, EVER !

Hey how you durin'? my name is tyra. this is my blogging site. well i think my first blog should tell you a little sum bout me. so here it goes..im sixteen. ima sophmore in high school. yea im a youngin'. but i feel as though my actions are young, not my mind. i have an uncontrollbe iimagination. its so many things i wana grow up and do, its ridicuolus. one of those things includes my own blogging site called " tyraa.com". im becoming an interent junkiee, so why not share my junk with other peoples junk. heehee. im relly goofy. i like to laugh. i like to write, and i like to create. exoressing myself is a must. and this is where my blogging begins !