Someday.

and many days go by..when i dont know what it is im trying to be.
sometimes..i dont know who it is i am. or what is im seeking.
and i almost never know what direction im spose to be walking in my future...
or where the wind will take me next.
but not a day goes by, when i dont know what i want to be now.

i want to be that girl, who everybody knows.
and i want to be the one with the emotions that never show.
the one whose poetry touches hearts, and moves lives.
the woman's whose spoken words, never die.
that child who is the apple of parents eye, the favorite child.
the man who walks with his head held high, the greatest pride.
the bride that is worth driving cross country.
the divorced husband that cries in the night, but smiles in the morning.
the grandmother who shares wisdom with the sweetest presentation, no lectures.
that bird with the most beautiful feathers..
that child who makes her parents proud of not what she has done, but the young woman she has become.
the sister whose siblings will always wana be with
the heartbroken boy who hurts but yu kant see it
the puppy who is out of control, untameble
the antique who last forever, untangible.

i want to be great..and my potential overflows
my inspiration has no exipration date....and i will achieve my goals.....


so today i will rest my head...and dream about tommrow in my sleep.
regardless of what troubles are awaiting for me, i know one day all of this i will be.
and that day, nothing kan stop me.
and this world kant hold me:)

No New Messages. (POEM by ME )

and i kant make yu text me back....

i kant make yu hear my footsteps pacing abck and forth arcoss the floors of this lonely room.
i kant make yu see the worried look upon this distraught face
or tast the salty yet familar tears upon my red flourished cheeks
i cant make yu love me.

you wont ever be able to heal the dissappointmets from the past.
yu will never know how it felt to beo n the top of the world
and the next minute feeling like a broken little girl
yu kant understand, why i get so emotionally attached
and unto unworthy niggas i become dependentally latched..
so of course yu dont comprehend the hurt produced by that no text back...

where yu there? yu know, that night when i couldnt sleep
kept getting all entangled in those tear soaked sheets

try sleeping in a bed full of sorrow...tossing and kicking
try holding onto feelings with no one to listen

see yu dont know the stories
and you dont get the past
you wasnt there when heartbreak and regret....was kicking my ass. (lol)

the issues i deal with every single day
are the same demons i gotta fight every single day

and the same problems i gotta try to fix and face
are da same dilemas causing me to be in this mind state....

but you couldnt understand it
yu think this is a game, a joke.
you think im playing....but its anything but that.

yu just couldnnt get it....and you wont ever get it.
so i'll sit here....and wait for that text bak.

Way 2 Go, BP Gas Station.

sooo....heard that today makes it official. this is the biggest oil spill we have ever had in the history of the united states. soooo nice going BP. i know its alot of ppl who dont understand whats going on. so this is my perspective on it :

BP was trying to do sum kinda buisness scam or sumthing that they aint have no buisness doing. it wasnt no reason for them to be carrying that much oil on such jacked up equipment anyways...but they didd. blah blah blah....somehow the oil ended up spilling. ok, got that part? we know the oil spilled. but this is what pisses me off.

they go try all these stupid tactics to clean dis oil up. they using tactics that will let them soak the oil back up so they dont waste money...instead of worrying bout the enviroment animals and all that. boy i tell you....we got some effed up people in the world. so selfish...we got animals going extinct even quicker now cuz they breathing in this oil. THEN, they put sum type of dissolvers in the water to break up the oil in smaller pieces....WHAT KINDA SENSE THAT MAKE. so yu go break up the oil into smaller pieces....ITS STILL THERE. ITS STILL IN THE WATER, FOOL. so no these tablets are poisioning the water even more. so now the animals are either choking on oil, or drowing in the poison. WTF? jesus. we need you.

WORDPLAY:) PART ONE.

ok so. what wordplay is when i take a word, that is slang, and jsut blankly and utterly define it. lol. ok so the word for today is (*drum roll pleaseeeeeee*):


Skeem. And this word is very complex and confusing, espically for me. like the first time i heard it, i was like what? excuse me? we're doing what tonight? lol. but look:

The Webster Dictionary definition(in my own words) is: "to plan out or to devise a plan." and they spell it diffrently. they spell it "scheme".

BUT i asked around, and some people say this word kan be used in place of many things. for example:
" AY, we skeeming tonight " and really all that means is " AY, im gonna go get sum pizza, wana join?".

other people use it like " AY, man he going with two girls at once? Man he a SKEEMiNG." and that means " AY, he cheating on them" baiscally.

as you can see. the word has diffrent forms.
there's Skeem, Skeemer, Skids, Skeeming...and more im sure i aint heard yet. this word is a trip bruh. lol.

iSUPPORt.

here's some things i support nowadays...

1.) GOiNG GREEN.go green man. i swea when i get older, im just go have the house with all the weird shaped lightbulbs and the stuff on the roof to help satellite or whatever.....im just go have the Green House. lol.

2.) DO NOT SEXT.

just dont do it. point blank. BUT if you do, dont get mad when yu get caught.

3.) A B S T I E N E N C E.
most effective way not to get pregnant, a STD, or a stretched out cat? lol. NO SEX TIL MAARIAGE.
4.) DRUG FREE.

for those of you who smoke, pop pills, sniff crayola...idk. whatever it is you do...im not judging you. im just warning you...it may not be affecting you now. but it will later. everybody be like "weed dont hurt you" blah blah bull. its affecting somhow and someway...so enjoy your suicide:)

5.) NO DRINKING.

yea no drinking...i dont how faithful ima be able to stay to this one but ima try..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So ima pretty "goooooood girl" i guess. i mean i just try to be as good as i kan..never know when jesus is coming back.
everybody says live life to the fullest. i dont do that.

i live life to the fullest for jesus:)

o lets do it. lol.

SEXTING? hmmm, i think not.

so ummm. da other day dis dude had the audacity to ask me to send him a pic. so i sent it to him. just a pic of my face yu know me, looking cute. fully clothed, and appropriate for the situation. buddy go get mad at me, cuz it aint da type of pic he want. so im like well what kinda of pic yu want black and white, sepia, negative, what type of pic yu tawkn bout. then thats when it happend. jesus........ol buddy wants a picture without any clothes...nothing. buddy wants to SEXT.

ok so. sexting is basically sending racy pics to somebody else...and now i hear you kan go to jail for it. now. im not knocking it. but i dont support it either. i feel like, if somebody wana send a pic to sombody else, ultimately. they go have to live with it themselves. sending me off to jail for showing da goods is kinda stupid, i think. but at the same time, i feel like if yu kant show the picture yu sending to yo bf/gf to your mom, then yu shuldnt be sending it. if you feeling guilty about sending it....if something telling you not to send it....if anything aint sitting right with you about it....even if yu THNK your in love....dont send that junk. cuz the way tha po-po cracking on teens round here.....hell. it aint worth going to jail over a flash of them bitties loll. real tawk, true story.

OMGSH; dreamTATTOOs.

OK. so iwant some mario bros tattoos. but not of them. really small, not too small though, but not too big either....like smedimall. (small big and medium together) lol...i want a star. a mushroo. boo(the shy ghost). and if i have space maybe a token, or the plant, maybe the lil brown pitbull looking things. idk...but i think these tattoos are bomb. i want their really cool. kant wait to get mines. its gonna be on my hand! DO NOT TRY TO TAWK ME OUT OF IT....IM GETTING IT MOM. lol. dang everybody keep telling me to get it on my shoulder or some, NOO. ITS GOING ON MY HAND, AND THATS IT. mkay? mkay:) cool.

the main reason i want boo, is because he is shy. and thats something i have always been. i express my shy in a diffrent type of way from other ppl though. like i will be shy or nervous around a guy, so i will skrew up by cursing alot or being loud or something...idk. im shy around y fam. shy around my friends sumtimes. shy around my bf. im just shy and thats always gonna be me. rregardless of what others say, i know me better then anyone else. and i know i am shy. another thing is boo doesnt like ppl looking at his face....i dont either. yea so thats why i want boo plus hes cute!

but mine is gonna look sum like this:)

my mom says nobody is gonna hire me with a tat like this. my response is this, " well if they not go hire me cuz i got a small ghost on my hand, then i dont wana work for a bunch baffoons like that. bunch of sissies scared of a ghost w/ his tounge out....PSH! PLEASE PLAYA!" . lol. ima fool.

R E L A TI ON SHI TS.

wow. i love the title of my blog. it rocks. lol. but look.

i gotta dude, a boyfriend if yu may. and i hope he dont read this, cuz he be getting mad when i put our stuff out there but hey...im just speaking the truth. sorry babe:(

neways...

we been going out for almost a year. today makes it 11 months. about 2 months, out of those 11 months we were "separated"/ broken up. now we're back together again but it feels diffrent. it feels weird. like its not the same as it used to be. and i dont understand whats going wrong.

( hope it gets better.....)

i wont go into detail but i will check out these tips i found:

5 things you might be doing to sabotage your relationship:

1.) your frequently dissappointed with your partners gifts or gestures.

2.) you focus on his faults.

3.) your too avaible or have drastically changed your schedule for him. *

4.) you've stopped glamoring up for dates.

5.) you discuss your relationship too much. *

* thats me ....lol

Fav. DISNEY Movies:))

man to be honest. this da main reason i wrote this blog. im looking at it as we speak. it has the best storyline out of all the disney movies. it was great. but then they started making all the other lion kings, which sucked. i hated the others. but they original was the best. the monkey was hilarious. oh wow. he waas so kool man. wit his naked self...lol.

omg omg omg. hercules was so cute. he was a hottie:) lol. im so lame. but ay, all the characters were gorgeous. like his mom shes in the ttop right hand corner and she is all pink. but she was so pretty and ZEUS omg, zeus kan get it fosho:) lol. haiti's was hilarious. he was funny to me. this is my favorite one of all time. no doubt.

omggggsh. she was so pretty. like the movie was so real to me like. it showed out relationships get rocky but if its ture love, it will work out. coming from two opposite worlds...love grows by the persons heart. not culture, not background lifestyles..but their hearts. * shakes head, blows away tears* oh gosh....wow.

omg. Tears. The Beauty and the Beast was the joint. the beast was so finee to me. but i was so scared of him. i used to run out the romm when he screamed, instead of just turning the tv off. lol. kids are idiots.omg, i neva got this one on vhs. but when i used to catch it on tv it was so good. matta fact doe, i only seen it once all the way thru. i always catch it at the end. i need to go rent this thing immediat-effn-ly....

CUDi SPAZZiNNNN'

Kid Cudi. Cudi Of Kid. The Man On The Moon. Mr.Ragerrr. Scotty. Charles. Look, Regardless of what ya know him by. the man is a genius. he is a great artist. scarcth that, he is THE RAP ARTIST. Look at this dude. I Mean. he is a normal, human being. he raps about his insecurties, about his past. about his now, about his then. his family, how he feels. how people want him to lower his standards of rapping to bad mouth females, and go "back to the trap house" to smoke some "green" and smack that hoe when she drop it low and blah blah blam. ya know. its not gonna happen. if your not cudi; yur so ugly. lol. i suck at rapping. but HE DOESENT:))))